someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
