i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Actions speak louder than pants.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
