I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
