I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
