She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
