After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
