He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
420 ftw
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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