Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
