im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
