I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
