It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
