there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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