Don't you send me to vm
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
