I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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