so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
