are you still at the devil's house?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
When are your genitals available?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
