how can u be prego again
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My vagina is officially offended.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
