Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
drinking out of a sandbucket again
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
