I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
