dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
