Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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