I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Sext me about skeletons
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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