honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
