like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
