Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
