I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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