READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
