So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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