someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
