Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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