Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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