he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
