covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
