Got a toothbrush?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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