There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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