im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
