if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
