Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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