Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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