i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
