try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you inspire me to be a worse person
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
