Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
