If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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