can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
