Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
