my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
