Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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