If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
