did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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