Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
And then my night got REAL pukey
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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